First 30 Days After Losing a Spouse

Notify close family and one trusted friend

Pick one person to make the first round of calls if it helps you. You do not have to break the news to everyone yourself.

Confirm pronouncement of death and disposition

If at home, the hospice or coroner pronounces. If at hospital, staff handles it. Pick a funeral home and they coordinate transport.

Order 10-15 certified death certificates

Funeral home orders them. You will need one for each bank, insurance company, pension, the deed, the car title, and Social Security. Better to have too many.

Locate the will, life insurance policies, and key papers

Look in the home safe, filing cabinet, or safety deposit box. Make a single folder to keep them in one place.

Funeral or memorial planning

If pre-arranged, the funeral home walks you through it. If not, ask for an itemized price list. The FTC Funeral Rule says they must give you one.

Notify Social Security (1-800-772-1213)

Funeral home often reports the death automatically. Confirm it. Apply for the one-time $255 lump-sum death benefit and switch to survivor benefits if you qualify.

Notify employer or pension administrator

If your spouse worked or had a pension, the HR or benefits office handles final pay, retirement balances, and any group life insurance.

Eat and rest

Grief is physical work. People bring food because it matters. Accept it. Sleep when you can. The paperwork can wait a few days.

File life insurance claims

Call each company. They send a claim form. You return it with a certified death certificate. Most pay within 2-4 weeks. Term and whole life are both filed this way.

Switch joint accounts to your name only

Bank, credit cards, brokerage. Bring photo ID, the death certificate, and the account number. Some can do it by mail.

Update home and car titles

Home deed: file an Affidavit of Survivorship at the county recorder. Car title: visit your state DMV with the death certificate and current title.

Update utility bills, phone, internet, streaming

Call each. Some need a death certificate, some take a phone call. While you are at it, cancel anything you do not use.

File final joint tax return

You file as Married Filing Jointly for the year of death. After that, qualifying widow/widower status for 2 years if you have a dependent child. A CPA or AARP Tax-Aide can help free.

Veterans benefits if applicable

If your spouse was a veteran, you may qualify for survivor pension (DIC), $300 burial allowance, or a flag. Call the VA at 1-800-827-1000 or VA.gov.

Beneficiary updates on YOUR accounts

Your spouse was likely the primary beneficiary on your IRA, 401(k), and life insurance. Update each to a new person. Your bank or broker has a one-page form.

Update your own will and healthcare proxy

Your spouse was probably your healthcare proxy and named in your will. Pick someone new for each. An estate attorney charges $300-$600 for a basic update.