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9 min read 6 stepsMay 8, 2026Verified May 2026

How to Apply for FMLA to Care for a Parent

A plain-English step-by-step guide for adult children who need protected time off work under the Family and Medical Leave Act to care for an aging parent.

At a Glance

Confirm You and Your Parent Meet the FMLA Rules

~2 min

Sit down with a notebook and check three things about yourself. First, have you worked for your current employer for at least 12 months total (does not have to be in a row, but breaks of seven years or more do not count). Second, have you worked at least 1,250 hours in the past 12 months, which is about 24 hours a week or three full days. Third, does your employer have 50 or more employees within 75 miles of your work location. Your human resources office can confirm the head count. If all three are yes, you are eligible. Next, check your parent's situation. They must have a serious health condition, which means a condition that requires an overnight hospital stay, ongoing doctor visits or hospital care for a chronic condition, or a condition that prevents two or more activities of daily living. Common qualifying conditions include Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's, cancer, stroke recovery, hip or knee replacement recovery, congestive heart failure, COPD, and kidney failure. Pneumonia and the flu by themselves usually do not qualify unless there is a hospital stay.

Quick Tip

Step-parents who raised you also count under FMLA as a parent, even without legal adoption. In-laws do not count under federal FMLA, but some state laws cover them.

Tell Your Employer You Plan to Take Leave

~1 min

FMLA requires you to give your employer at least 30 days notice when leave is planned (like for a parent's scheduled surgery), and notice as soon as possible when leave is unplanned (like for a sudden stroke). Send the notice in writing so you have a record. An email to your direct supervisor and to human resources is fine. A paper letter signed and dated also works. Say in plain words that you are requesting FMLA leave to care for your parent who has a serious health condition. Give a start date if you have one, and an estimated end date. You do not have to include medical details about your parent in the notice. Keep a copy of the email or letter. Within five business days of your notice, your employer must give you a written response telling you whether you are eligible for FMLA, and within five more days they must give you a notice of rights and responsibilities (called the WH-381 form).

Warning

Do not quit your job and then ask for FMLA. The law only protects current employees. If you walk off the job, you lose the protections.

Get the Medical Certification From Your Parent's Doctor

~2 min

Your employer will give you a form called the WH-380-F Certification of Health Care Provider for Family Member. This is a one-page form that your parent's doctor must fill out and sign. Take or fax the form to the doctor's office (most clinics will fill it out within a week for a small fee, sometimes $25 to $75). The form asks the doctor four main things. First, when did the serious condition start. Second, how long is it expected to last. Third, what care is needed (medications, doctor visits, help with bathing and dressing). Fourth, how much time off do you, the caregiver, need (continuous twelve weeks, or intermittent days for doctor visits, or a reduced schedule like working three days a week instead of five). The doctor does not have to write your parent's diagnosis on the form if your parent does not want it shared. But they must describe the symptoms enough for the employer to see the condition is serious. You have at least 15 calendar days to return the completed form to your employer.

Quick Tip

Make at least three copies of the completed form before you send it. Keep one at home, keep one in your car or briefcase, and only send the original to human resources.

Choose Between Continuous, Intermittent, and Reduced-Schedule Leave

~2 min

FMLA can be used three different ways. And you pick the way that fits your parent's needs. Continuous leave means you take all twelve weeks in one stretch, like for a parent's hip surgery and recovery. Intermittent leave means you take FMLA in small blocks as needed. You might take Tuesday and Friday off every week for two months to drive your parent to chemotherapy, or take three hours off on Monday morning every other week for a doctor visit. Reduced-schedule leave means you cut your weekly hours. You might switch from 40 hours a week to 24 hours a week for six months while caring for a parent at home after a stroke. The total of any combination cannot exceed twelve weeks per year. Intermittent and reduced-schedule leave are the most common in practice because they let caregivers keep some paycheck and stay in the rhythm of work while still being there for medical appointments and crises. Talk to your supervisor about which approach works for the team. The law does not require your employer to agree to a specific schedule for intermittent leave for foreseeable care, but in practice most companies work with you on the timing.

Quick Tip

Track your hours yourself in a notebook or spreadsheet. Some employers count hours incorrectly. If you take three hours off on a Wednesday, write down the date and the hours.

Use Paid Time Off and Short-Term Disability Together With FMLA

~2 min

FMLA itself is unpaid, but your employer can require. And you can voluntarily choose, to use accrued paid time off (vacation, sick days, personal days) during FMLA leave so you keep getting a paycheck. Read your employee handbook on this point. Most companies require you to use up paid time off first. Some states (California, New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Washington, and others) have paid family leave programs that pay 60 to 90 percent of your wages for several weeks while you care for a family member. You apply through your state's employment department or labor agency, separately from your FMLA paperwork at work. Your employer's short-term disability policy usually does not cover caring for a parent (it covers your own illness), but your parent may qualify for help paying for in-home care through Medicaid, Veterans Aid and Attendance benefits, or long-term care insurance if they have a policy. Check those programs alongside your FMLA leave so the family budget keeps moving forward.

Warning

Read your employer's policy carefully. Some employers wrongly tell employees that paid time off cannot run at the same time as FMLA. The law generally allows running them together to maximize the worker's income.

Keep Records, Stay in Touch, and Return to Your Job

~2 min

During your leave, keep a folder with copies of every email, letter, and form related to FMLA. Save voicemails from your supervisor. If your employer changes your job duties, demotes you, cuts your hours, or ends you while you are on FMLA leave, those records are your protection. Check in with your supervisor by email or phone every two to three weeks during a long leave, even briefly, to keep the relationship warm and to confirm your expected return date. About two weeks before you plan to return, send a written notice with the date. On your first day back, your employer must put you in the same job you had before, or one nearly identical in pay, benefits, hours, and location. Your health insurance must continue uninterrupted through the leave (you keep paying your share of the premium). If your employer does not restore you properly or retaliates in any way, contact the US Department of Labor Wage and Hour Division at 1-866-487-9243 or file a complaint at dol.gov/agencies/whd. The agency investigates for free.

Quick Tip

If you suspect retaliation, talk to an employment attorney before you accept any settlement, severance, or signed agreement from your employer. Many take FMLA cases on contingency, with no upfront cost.

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The Family and Medical Leave Act, known by most people as FMLA, is a federal law that lets eligible workers take up to twelve weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave per year to care for a parent, spouse, or child with a serious health condition. For an adult child in their 40s, 50s, or 60s who is the main caregiver for an aging mother or father, FMLA can be the difference between keeping a job and losing one during a medical crisis. The leave is unpaid in most cases, but the law guarantees that your employer must hold your job (or one nearly identical) open for you, keep your health insurance going on the same terms, and cannot retaliate against you for taking it.

FMLA applies to private employers with 50 or more employees within a 75-mile radius, and to all public agencies and public schools regardless of size. To qualify as a worker, you must have worked for the employer for at least 12 months (not necessarily in a row), worked at least 1,250 hours in the past 12 months (about 24 hours a week on average), and work at a location where the company has 50 or more employees within 75 miles. If any of these three are missing, you do not qualify for federal FMLA. But you may still qualify for state-level family leave in California, New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Washington, Oregon, Colorado, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Maryland, Delaware, Minnesota, or the District of Columbia. Several of those states also pay a portion of your wages during leave, which federal FMLA does not.

The parent you are caring for must have what the law calls a serious health condition. The official definition is broad and includes any condition that requires an overnight hospital stay, ongoing treatment for chronic problems (Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, cancer, congestive heart failure, stroke recovery, kidney failure, COPD), or a condition that prevents the parent from doing two or more activities of daily living like bathing, dressing, eating, walking, or using the toilet. Your parent's doctor fills out a one-page form to certify the condition. You then take that form to your employer's human resources office to start the leave.

This guide walks through every step of the FMLA application, what to expect from your employer, how to handle intermittent leave (using FMLA in small blocks for doctor visits rather than one long stretch), and what to do if your employer says no. Bring a notebook and a pen. Keep copies of every document you send and receive. The Department of Labor wage and hour division enforces FMLA at the federal level. If your employer breaks the rules, you can call 1-866-487-9243 or file a complaint at dol.gov/agencies/whd.

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Official Resources

USA.gov — Government Services SSA — Social Security Benefits.gov IRS Free File

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