Safety & Privacy

Beginner

8 min read 7 stepsMay 8, 2026Verified May 2026

How to Spot a Romance Scam on Dating Sites

Detailed safety guide for seniors on recognizing romance scams, with red flags, scripts, and steps to report fraud.

At a Glance

Watch for the Top Five Red Flags

~55s

Romance scams almost always show one or more of these signs. First, the match falls in love unusually fast, often within a week of the first message. Second, the photos look too polished or model-like. And there are only one or two of them. Third, the person has a job that keeps them out of the country, such as oil rig engineer, oncologist with Doctors Without Borders, US Army general deployed in Syria, or marine biologist on an arctic research ship. Fourth, they always have a reason they cannot meet on a video call, and the audio glitches when they finally try. Fifth, they bring up money. Maybe their daughter is sick. Maybe their bank account is frozen. Maybe they need a flight home. Any one of these signs is a warning. Two or more is almost certain proof of a scam.

Warning

Real partners do not declare love after three messages. If someone is calling you sweetheart, soulmate, or my future wife in the first week, treat it as a script, not a feeling.

Reverse Image Search Every Photo

~46s

Open Google Chrome on a computer. Right-click any photo from the match's profile and pick Search Image with Google Lens, or save the photo to your computer and upload it at images.google.com using the camera icon. Yandex.com offers another image search that catches faces Google misses. TinEye at tineye.com is a third option. If the photo shows up tied to other names, on stock photo sites, on Russian social networks, or on a US military officer's real social media account, the person you are messaging is not who they say they are. Scammers steal photos from real people, often soldiers, doctors, and engineers, so the photo may be a real person with a different name and life.

Quick Tip

Run the search on three or four photos from the profile. Scammers often have one fake photo that comes up clean and three more that match a stolen account elsewhere.

Ask for a Specific, Hard-to-Fake Video Call

~50s

Tell the match you want a 10-minute video call this Sunday at 3 p.m. on FaceTime, WhatsApp, or Zoom. Real partners agree without drama. Scammers find reasons to delay. The phone is broken. The signal in the war zone is bad. The doctor will not let them on a screen. If they do call, watch carefully. A scammer often uses pre-recorded video with the camera angle just off, or a chat with no eye contact. Ask them to wave at the camera and say your name out loud. Ask them to hold up two fingers. A real person does this in a second. A fake one hesitates, freezes, or hangs up. If they agree but the call fails three times, that is a clear answer.

Warning

Some scammers now use AI face filters to fake a live video call. Watch for blurry edges around the hairline, eyes that do not blink, or audio that does not match the lips.

Never Send Money, Gift Cards, or Crypto

~56s

The single most important rule is that you never, under any circumstance, send money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, wire transfers, or your bank details to a person you met online and have not met in person. The most common scammer requests are iTunes gift cards, Google Play cards, Walmart gift cards, Western Union wires, Zelle payments, Cash App payments, Apple Pay transfers, and Bitcoin. They will tell you to scratch off the back of the gift card and read the numbers to them over the phone. They will tell you the wire is for a hospital, a customs fee, a flight, a lawyer. They will swear they will pay you back the day they get home. They will not pay you back. Once the money leaves your account, it is gone in most cases. The only safe answer is a clear no.

Warning

Scammers will sometimes call you with a fake voice that sounds like a grandchild or police officer to pressure a payment. Hang up and call your family member or local police directly using a number you already know.

Talk to a Trusted Person Before Acting

~50s

Scammers work hard to keep their victims isolated. They tell you the relationship is a secret. They tell you family will not understand. They tell you the bank will refuse the wire if you mention them. Every one of those lines is a sign of a scam. Pick one person you trust deeply: an adult child, a sibling, a longtime friend, or your pastor. Tell them the basics of who you are messaging and what they have asked for. Read their words out loud. A second pair of ears will hear the script clearly even if you cannot. Many AARP and Better Business Bureau programs also offer a free phone line that lets you talk through a suspicious situation with a trained volunteer. The AARP Fraud Watch Helpline is 1-877-908-3360.

Quick Tip

Save the AARP Fraud Watch Helpline number on your phone before you ever need it. A two-minute call has saved many seniors from a five-figure loss.

Report the Scam to Three Places

~52s

If you spot a scammer, do not message them again. Block them on the dating site by clicking the three-dot menu and choosing Report and Block. Then file three reports. First, the dating site itself. So they can ban the account and warn others. Second, the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov. Third, the FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov. These reports help law enforcement track scammer networks and warn other dating users. If you sent money, report it to your bank in the same day. Wire transfers can sometimes be reversed within 24 to 48 hours. Gift card purchases can sometimes be refunded if you call the issuer right away. Save every message, every email, and every receipt as evidence.

Warning

Some scammers come back weeks later with a new profile and a new story, claiming to be a fraud recovery agent who can get your money back for a fee. That is a second scam targeting victims. Never pay anyone who offers to recover stolen funds.

Recover Emotionally After a Scam

~45s

Falling for a romance scam is not a failure of intelligence. It is a wound that takes time to heal. Most survivors feel embarrassment, shame, and grief, all at once. None of those feelings are your fault. The scammer is the criminal. You did nothing wrong by hoping for connection. Reach out to a therapist or a support group. AARP runs free romance scam support groups online. The Better Business Bureau has a national peer support program. Your primary care doctor can also refer you to a counselor who treats financial trauma. Telling your story to others helps you process the loss and may protect another senior from the same scam.

Quick Tip

Bookmark the AARP Fraud Watch Network at aarp.org/fraudwatch. The site lists current scam trends each month and offers a free weekly newsletter that keeps you ahead of the latest tactics.

You Did It!

You've finished reading: How to Spot a Romance Scam on Dating Sites

How well did this guide stick with you?

Need more help? Book a TekSure tech

Romance scams are one of the fastest growing forms of online fraud in the United States, and adults over 60 lose more money to them than any other age group. The FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center, known as IC3, tracked over 22,000 romance scam complaints in 2024 with losses of about $730 million. The Federal Trade Commission, the FTC, places the average reported loss for adults 70 and older at over $10,000 per victim. The number rises every year as more older adults try online dating for the first time.

A romance scam works in a slow and patient way. A stranger reaches out on a dating site, a Facebook message, or a text message. They say all the right things. They share photos of a handsome retired engineer, a kind widowed nurse, or a charming military officer. They never quite meet you in person. Then, weeks or months in, they hit a sudden crisis. A medical bill. A frozen bank account in another country. A passport stuck in customs. They ask for help, just a small amount at first. Once you send the first wire transfer or gift card, the requests keep coming. By the time most victims realize what happened, the money is gone and the scammer has vanished.

The heartbreaking part is that the scam works on smart, generous, lonely people. Most victims are widows or widowers who lost a spouse in the last five years. Most are college educated. Many run businesses. The scammers know exactly what to say because they use scripts polished over thousands of attempts. They study your Facebook posts. They know your grandchildren by name. They build trust on purpose, then they break it.

The good news is that romance scams follow a predictable pattern. Once you know the signs, you can spot them within a few messages. This guide walks through the most common red flags, the verification tricks that catch scammers in seconds, the right way to handle a suspicious match, and the exact steps to report a scam to the FTC, the FBI, and the dating site. We also cover what to do if you have already sent money, because there are real steps that recover some funds when reported within 48 hours.

Rate this guide

How helpful was this guide?

romance scams

dating safety

seniors

fraud

FTC

FBI

scam alerts

Official Resources

FTC Consumer Protection CISA — Cybersecurity Tips AARP Fraud Watch Network

Sources used to create and verify this guide. View all sources →

← Previous

How to Use SilverSingles Dating App Safely

How to Meet Someone at a Senior Center

Still stuck? Let a pro handle it.

A real person can walk you through this over the phone, anywhere in the US. If we can't fix it, you don't pay.

Book a Verified Tech How It Works

Learn more from official sources

Related Guides

How to Secure Your Home Wi-Fi Network

Simple steps to lock down your home router, keep strangers off your network, and protect every device in your house.

3 min read

Setting Up Two-Factor Authentication (2FA) on Any Account

Add a second layer of security to your most important accounts. This one change stops most account takeovers cold.

3 min read

Staying Safe on Social Media

How to protect your privacy on Facebook and Instagram, spot fake accounts, and avoid the most common social media traps.

3 min read