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    Advance Directive Coach

    A 30-minute task that protects you and your family.

    What an advance directive is

    A legal document where you write down your medical wishes IF you can\'t speak for yourself someday. Without it, doctors have to guess and family argues.

    Two main parts:

    • Living will — your wishes about end-of-life treatments.
    • Healthcare proxy / Healthcare Power of Attorney — names ONE person who decides if you can\'t.

    Best free options

    • Five Wishes (fivewishes.org) — most loved by patients and families. $5 for the booklet. State-recognized in most US states. Covers physical, emotional, spiritual.
    • Your state health department — every state has a free standard advance directive form. Search "[your state] advance directive form".
    • AARP\'s free template — aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/. State-specific.
    • Hospital social worker — most hospitals have someone who walks you through it FREE.

    Decisions to think through

    • CPR — if your heart stops, do you want resuscitation?
    • Mechanical ventilation — breathing machine?
    • Tube feeding — if you can\'t swallow?
    • Dialysis — if kidneys fail?
    • Antibiotics — if dying with infection?
    • Pain management — comfort over alertness, or vice versa?
    • Where you want to die — home, hospice, hospital?
    • Organ donation?

    No one answer is "right". The point is YOUR answer, written down.

    Choosing your healthcare proxy

    Pick ONE person who can:

    • Be calm in a crisis.
    • Honor your wishes (not impose theirs).
    • Live close enough to come quickly.
    • Have time to be at the hospital if needed.
    • Communicate clearly with doctors.

    Often a spouse, then an adult child as backup. Tell that person they\'re named — and have a real conversation about your wishes.

    After you sign it

    1. Original kept in a safe but accessible place (not a safety deposit box — too slow).
    2. Give copies to: your healthcare proxy, your spouse, your primary doctor, the hospital you usually use.
    3. Keep a card in your wallet stating "I have an advance directive — see [proxy name and phone]".
    4. Photo on your phone, in a "Medical" folder.
    5. If you have MyChart — upload there too. Most patient portals support it.

    Have "the conversation"

    The free Conversation Project (theconversationproject.org) has gentle starter conversations for families. National Healthcare Decisions Day (April 16) is a good prompt to do this together.