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    Romance Scam Defense

    If you\'ve never met them in person, the rules below matter.

    The hard truth

    Americans over 60 lost over $1 billion to romance scams in 2024. The targets are not naive — they're often smart, kind, lonely, and recently widowed. The scammers are professional, and they study their target for weeks before asking for money.

    Red flags — every romance scam has them

    1. Met online — never in person, never on a real video call.
    2. Profile photos look professional or like a model. (Reverse-image search them — often stolen from a real stranger.)
    3. Falls for you fast — within days they're calling you "soulmate" and saying "I love you".
    4. Says they're overseas — military deployment, oil rig, doctor in war zone, traveling executive.
    5. Won't video chat. Always an excuse: bad signal, broken camera, security restrictions.
    6. Has an emergency that needs money. Family illness, customs fees, a stuck inheritance, a flight home.
    7. Asks for gift cards, wire transfers, crypto, or "help moving money" through your bank.
    8. Discourages you from telling family or friends.
    9. Promises to pay you back — or to come visit as soon as the money is sorted.

    The hardest rule (and the most important)

    Never send money to anyone you've only met online.

    Not a small "loan". Not gift cards "to help out". Not "hold this transfer for me". Not "buy this crypto for us". Once it's gone, it's gone — and the next request will be bigger.

    Real partners don't ask people they've never met for money. Period.

    How to test if someone is real

    1. Reverse-image search their photos. On a computer, right-click their photo → "Search Google for image". If it shows up on stock photo sites, modeling agencies, or someone else's social media — you've got a scammer.
    2. Insist on a live video call. Not a recorded video. Not a photo. A live call where you can ask them to wave, or hold up today's newspaper. Scammers refuse — every time.
    3. Look up their name + city. Real people have a footprint — LinkedIn, news, an old yearbook. Scammers using stolen identities have nothing.
    4. Tell a trusted family member. Show your son or daughter the messages. Listen to them.

    If you\'ve already sent money

    1. Stop. Send no more — even if they "promise the rest will fix everything".
    2. Save every message and every receipt. You'll need them.
    3. Call your bank — they may be able to reverse a wire if it just left.
    4. Report to reportfraud.ftc.gov and the FBI at ic3.gov.
    5. Tell a family member. Don't carry this alone.
    6. If you're feeling overwhelmed — call AARP's Fraud Helpline at 1-877-908-3360. They listen, no judgment.

    For family — having "the conversation"

    If a parent or relative seems caught up in something:

    • Don't shame or yell — they're already embarrassed.
    • Show them the FBI and FTC pages on romance scams. They use the same exact playbook every time.
    • Ask to do a video call WITH them, on speaker, with the "partner". (Will not happen.)
    • Help them search the photos with reverse-image search.
    • Be patient. It's like an emotional withdrawal — takes weeks, not minutes.

    Where to find real connection

    Local senior centers, libraries, hiking clubs, church groups, volunteer organizations. AARP Connect2Affect helps with loneliness directly. Real connections take time — but no real one ever asks you for money.

    Romance Scam Defense — Recognize and Stop It | TekSure